As many of you know, a few months ago we relocated from San Diego to Little Rock for a temporary assignment. Lately I have been feeling a lot of sadness. It makes sense. We’re in a weird stage of life that not many people experience. But it’s hard to admit when things are sad. Admitting sadness makes me feel as though I am doing something wrong. Like I am ungrateful for all the great opportunities we have. I am afraid of admitting to sadness, and afraid that if I do admit it, things might never get better.
In an effort to increase vulnerability and further journey toward what I truly desire to be: authentically me, I share with you a list of things that are sad and things that I miss – followed by a list of positives – things I am loving about this stage of life.
Friends. Meeting Erin at Nordstrom Cafe for long lunches. Sunshine being a guaranteed part of my day. The sound of the ocean. Saturday morning runs at the bay. Crowded restaurants. Disneyland. Waking up every Sunday morning and being SO excited to see our community group, to sit in those rickety old wooden seats at Kearny, and to be a part of God moving in San Diego. Burritos. Trader Joe’s. Not needing a GPS to get anywhere. Bread and Cie and all the fun friends that would meet me there. Being comfortable.
Snow that only lasts 2 days. Not working 40 hours a week. Writing for my blog consistently. Discovering new restaurants. Working out in my living room. Central heating and air. Cable. Writing letters. Boulevard Bread Company. Friends and family visiting. Having more free time than I know what to do with. When people make fun of the way I talk – it reminds me of my roots and makes me proud to be a Californian. Not being the only conservative person in the room. My new winter coat. Having time to curl my hair.
Enjoy today, and relish in who you truly are – the happy and the sad.